rêvesperminute

we dream of jensie... and the peloton in general

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marcel kittel

In a dark room, I was gently woken by Marcel Kittel. From where he stood beside the bed, he leaned across me, placing one hand on the cotton sheets next to my shoulder and moving slowly closer. I stroked his smooth naked back, and curled my palms and fingers around his muscular shoulders with a sigh.

After a few moments, the stillness of the night was broken by his husky whisper in German-accented English.

“Ze toilet in my room… eet ees broken.”

I followed a topless Marcel along the hotel corridor and he led me to his bathroom, where there was a gushing sound as water was constantly running into the toilet bowl. I soon had the cistern lid off, jiggled a few plastic bits, and miraculously fixed the problem. My handsome blond companion shot me a captivating smile and looked immensely impressed.

“I just need to wash my hands”, I grinned seductively, washing and scrubbing my hands thoroughly. I wouldn’t want to transfer any germs onto this fine German now, would I? Especially not in the middle of a Grand Tour.

Marcel had other ideas. “Have a shower instead!”

And there he was, in the shower wearing a clingy white t-shirt and white pyjama shorts with water cascading over every rippling muscle in film star perfection. He nodded for me to join him, which I did. Well, it would have been rude not to?

“I can’t do anything,” he spoke quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of the shower stream, “it’s a sprint stage tomorrow.”

The next morning, Marcel caught my eye across the hotel lobby and he gave me a subtle sexy wink.

We both knew it wasn’t a sprint stage the following day.

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nicolas roche

I dreamt I was working in an office, and Nicolas Roche was my boss. He was wearing a black suit. I looked down, and saw that I was wearing the new fluo Tinkoff-Saxo shorts, but their regular jersey. “We have to get you a new one (jersey)” he said.

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chris froome

I dreamt Chris Froome won the Tour de France. And I was so disappointed: “He won again?” 

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jens voigt / taylor phinney / bauke mollema / ben swift

I dreamt I was walking around with @heidimo06, @melissagerman and @igster77. Jens Voigt and Taylor Phinney were posing for pictures in front of a big VeloVoices bus. Jens was in the red polka dots. Then Heidi took pictures of a BMC car, and when we looked up, we saw Bauke Mollema looking out a window, and waving at us. Then we spotted Ben Swift, who had snuck in with the Team Sky rider, even if he weren’t supposed to be there. He was wearing a black track suit with small Sky logos. 

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tom boonen

I dreamt I was at a barbeque, when I saw Tom Boonen. But he had a belly and a big black moustache. Then some guy was showing him his bike 

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russ & dean downing

I dreamt I went on a bike ride with Russ & Dean Downing, but for some reason I was on my shopping bike & they were on road bikes. I think my road bike was broken cos my hubby aka my bike mechanic was trying to fix it. Russ was complaining cos I said ooohhh, we can go this way, it’s so pretty & nice & he wanted to go on a beasty training ride so he could get back into Team Sky. Dean wasn’t bothered. It was a rather strange dream

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joaquim rodriguez

I had a dream I met #RockinRodriguez on a bike ride. I spent the ride telling him how great I thought he was. He laughed & gave me a hug then we went for coffee.

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dani king

There was a knock at the door. I answered it, and it was Dani King, holding some dry cleaning. I think she wanted next door.

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bernie eisel

I had a dream. It was one of those weird morphing dreams. The first bit I was at work but I won’t bore you with the details about that bit. The interesting bit is the next bit. I was suddenly on a car with Bernie Eisel. He was driving. We were talking about stuff & I was showing him this thing on my phone that made suns appear. Then he kissed me, tongues & all. The weird thing is I appear to have been dreaming that I dreamt this cos in my dream I suddenly woke up & then I was thinking ooohhh I must tell @accidentobizaro about my dream before I forget it. I’ve suddenly remembered more of my dream, before we were in the car when I was in work, Bernie was there too. He was showing me all the different types & colours of Sky jerseys he had (one was burgundy) & I showed him my Wiggins one. He laughed.

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mark renshaw

I dreamt I was offered contract by a big cycling team (don’t know which), and I was surprised, because I hadn’t (and haven’t) ridden a bike in over a month. And I’ve never even ridden a roadbike. Emily (@ScottVelocita on twitter) and Mark Renshaw was there, giving me advice. Emily telling me that my insecurities were nothing to talk about. Mark Renshaw was worried because some sort of insurance (in the contract) wasn’t high enough. I laughed, because to me, the numbers were huge. Unfortunately I can’t remember the exact numbers. It was all a bit of a joke to me, even in the dream, and I had no intention of signing any contract.